The First Day Of WiseAss…

Before I get into my 5 NON-Negotiable Rules for the perfect classroom reasonably managed classroom,  I thought I’d share my own first day “back at school “.

As I mentioned earlier , the days leading up to D- Day were filled with me devouring classroom management books. Also, asking the teachers among my friends and family for good first day activities. Mixed in with frantic Candy Crush playing ( and white wine drinking ) to calm my ever increasing anxiety as the big day approached.

My first mistake was taking advice from a family member who taught in a completely different classroom environment than what I would be dealing with. Her biggest class consisted of 22 learners. Most of my classes ranged from 32 to 45 learners. Also, the culture of her school was different. Afrikaans and English speakers generally converse at a much softer sound level  than the native Xhosa speakers I would be teaching. It is a belief in the Xhosa culture that one should not whisper and one should always speak so that everyone hears what you are saying. Otherwise you are seen to be gossiping which is a very bad thing. Hence, our school is  LOUD.

The advice I received was to let the pupils introduce themselves to the class stating their names, their ages, their dreams, what they were about, etc. THIS DID NOT WORK.

Firstly, each speaker received an earsplitting  clapping, cheering, foot- stomping response from his/her fellow classmates. It took around 5 minutes after each “Who am I?” speech to calm things down. Secondly, some clowns decided to tell me all about their aim of cheating/drinking/drug taking their way through life. Or their future as a computer hacker. Or how they plan to rob a bank. All to a chorus of raucous laughter from their friends. “Mam” definitely was not in control of this classroom. I looked like more of a fool by the minute.

And they knew it. Boy, did they know it! Children, regardless of IQ , can smell fear and insecurity from a mile away.

Moral of the story : DO NOT HAND OVER YOUR CLASSROOM TO YOUR PUPILS ON DAY 1 .

The only person talking on Day 1 should be YOU. Discussing your 5 rule poster. In detail and with a firm voice. Feet planted firmly. Eye contact throughout. Dramatic pauses for effect. ( Remember, you are ROCKSTAR TEACHER! )

Here then are the 5 rules I have decided are essential for my classroom to run smoothly. I started Day 1 with a poster covered in smallish writing because I had 8 rules on there. I found that 8 rules are too many. Most “extra” rules flow easily from the basic 5.

1. NOBODY TALKS WHILE I AM TALKING.
2. LINE UP QUIETLY OUTSIDE, WALK IN WITHOUT TALKING AND STAND BEHIND YOUR CHAIR.
3. ALWAYS HAVE YOUR BOOK AND YOUR PEN.
4. RAISE YOUR HAND IF YOU WANT TO TALK TO ME.
5. NOBODY GOES TO THE TOILET DURING ENGLISH. UNLESS I HAVE A MEDICAL LETTER STATING THAT YOU HAVE A BLADDER/ POOPING  DEFECATION PROBLEM.

And there you have it.

In the next post I will be unpacking ( love that word!) each rule seperately.

Stay tuned and thank you for reading!