The First Day Of WiseAss…

Before I get into my 5 NON-Negotiable Rules for the perfect classroom reasonably managed classroom,  I thought I’d share my own first day “back at school “.

As I mentioned earlier , the days leading up to D- Day were filled with me devouring classroom management books. Also, asking the teachers among my friends and family for good first day activities. Mixed in with frantic Candy Crush playing ( and white wine drinking ) to calm my ever increasing anxiety as the big day approached.

My first mistake was taking advice from a family member who taught in a completely different classroom environment than what I would be dealing with. Her biggest class consisted of 22 learners. Most of my classes ranged from 32 to 45 learners. Also, the culture of her school was different. Afrikaans and English speakers generally converse at a much softer sound level  than the native Xhosa speakers I would be teaching. It is a belief in the Xhosa culture that one should not whisper and one should always speak so that everyone hears what you are saying. Otherwise you are seen to be gossiping which is a very bad thing. Hence, our school is  LOUD.

The advice I received was to let the pupils introduce themselves to the class stating their names, their ages, their dreams, what they were about, etc. THIS DID NOT WORK.

Firstly, each speaker received an earsplitting  clapping, cheering, foot- stomping response from his/her fellow classmates. It took around 5 minutes after each “Who am I?” speech to calm things down. Secondly, some clowns decided to tell me all about their aim of cheating/drinking/drug taking their way through life. Or their future as a computer hacker. Or how they plan to rob a bank. All to a chorus of raucous laughter from their friends. “Mam” definitely was not in control of this classroom. I looked like more of a fool by the minute.

And they knew it. Boy, did they know it! Children, regardless of IQ , can smell fear and insecurity from a mile away.

Moral of the story : DO NOT HAND OVER YOUR CLASSROOM TO YOUR PUPILS ON DAY 1 .

The only person talking on Day 1 should be YOU. Discussing your 5 rule poster. In detail and with a firm voice. Feet planted firmly. Eye contact throughout. Dramatic pauses for effect. ( Remember, you are ROCKSTAR TEACHER! )

Here then are the 5 rules I have decided are essential for my classroom to run smoothly. I started Day 1 with a poster covered in smallish writing because I had 8 rules on there. I found that 8 rules are too many. Most “extra” rules flow easily from the basic 5.

1. NOBODY TALKS WHILE I AM TALKING.
2. LINE UP QUIETLY OUTSIDE, WALK IN WITHOUT TALKING AND STAND BEHIND YOUR CHAIR.
3. ALWAYS HAVE YOUR BOOK AND YOUR PEN.
4. RAISE YOUR HAND IF YOU WANT TO TALK TO ME.
5. NOBODY GOES TO THE TOILET DURING ENGLISH. UNLESS I HAVE A MEDICAL LETTER STATING THAT YOU HAVE A BLADDER/ POOPING  DEFECATION PROBLEM.

And there you have it.

In the next post I will be unpacking ( love that word!) each rule seperately.

Stay tuned and thank you for reading!

 

 

DAY 1…DO’S AND DON’TS On Your 1st Day Of Teaching ( Yes, it’ll be okay )

During the holiday leading up to my re-entry into the world of classrooms and bells, I read every single book I could find on classroom management, discipline strategies and basic survival skills when faced with 40 faces staring at you.

I didn’t need information on the actual lesson teaching part. Four years in teaching college prepared me for that. Pre-knowledge, unpacking of the lesson goals, questioning, blah, blah and blah. Plus I knew my present from my past tense, I knew about punctuation and things like rhyme schemes and characterization. I mean, how hard could Gr 9 English be? ( more on assuming you know things later…)

I needed help with how to RUN a classroom so that the darlings assigned to me did what I wanted them to do when I said they should do it. I needed practical tips on keeping them in the physical classroom when they wanted to slip down the passage while my back was turned.

The books I found related mostly to teaching in American schools. They contained some valuable information and some of the ideas have been incorporated into my daily routine with great success. But I could not find a single book on teaching in South Africa with it’s unique social and economic culture. Hence, the reasoning behind this blog.

Please don’t think for one second that I’m claiming to “have it all sorted out” in my classroom. Nope, I don’t!!! But if some of what I have learnt through trial and error can find it’s way to a nervous first year teacher, I’d be happy as Larry.

So here are my tips for DAY 1 of your brand new teaching career:

1. GO IN WITH A PLAN. You absolutely HAVE TO have 5 and no more than 7 behavior rules written on a poster. ( Don’t use a pink cardboard poster. Pink looks weak . Yellow looks positive and green looks peaceful. Blue looks peaceful too. Go with Orange for a strong statement.)  Put this poster up on the board for each class you teach and explain the reasons for each of the rules.  ( Attach enough Prestic to the corners of your poster. Hunting around for Prestic does not look good. It makes you look stressed, unprepared and ill qualified . Have the Prestic sorted out !) After Day 1, this VERY IMPORTANT poster goes up in your classroom in a prominent place to remind your learners of what you expect from them. More on my choice of rules in  the next post.
2. DRAW UP A BEHAVIOUR CONTRACT and make a copy for each child you will be teaching. This contract must list your classroom rules, your consequences for breaking the rules and must have a line where they will sign their names and write the date. If you ever run into problems in the future with an angry/aggressive/ irrational parent , you can simply reach for the behavior contract ( which you have of course filed in a cupboard ready to be plucked out on these occasions). Proof that little Sue DID in fact agree to your classroom rules and that SHE and not YOU are to blame for the consequences of her being a little sh*t  misbehaving .
3. DISCUSS and JUSTIFY YOUR RULES in as much detail as you can on DAY 1. I usually find it quite easy to spend 35 to 40 minutes on this topic during this very important first meeting with your learners. 99 % of the time they will still be scared of you ( due to not knowing you yet ) and it is essential that you keep that “in awe of the new teacher ” vibe alive and well for as long as possible. This vibe WILL disappear in either week 2 or early in week 3 and if you hadn’t made a strong enough impression on the first day, you are in for one hell of a ride. THIS YOU DO NOT WANT.
4. DRESS in strong colours. Navy, Black , Red and Purple represent  power . Steer clear of anything pastel. Remember you do not want to look like a soft little blossom on Day 1. You want to look like SUPERSTAR TEACHER. Ready, willing and able!
5. DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES ACT LIKE YOU WANT TO BECOME  YOUR LEARNERS’ FRIEND.  The time for supporting them, listening to them and helping them will come. But on this first day they need to learn RESPECT for you. Only then will they feel that maybe you are reliable. Maybe they can trust you to be the adult they need in their lives. Remember, you might be the first person teaching them about self control and proper treatment of those in authority . ( in some cases, also bladder control)

Enjoy your new adventure.

You will be fine.

And if you’re not, leave a comment for me in the space below and I will try to address your specific issue.

Don’t forget to return for the next post where I will go into detail about my 5 specific rules and the consequences of breaking them.

May the force be with you.

 

 

 

WAIT…WHY am I doing this again?

( Please excuse the amount of self centred I’s in this post. There will be a point to it, I promise. Just read.)

Before I became Mrs O, English Teacher , I was Miss V, music teacher. 

I spent 14 years teaching piano, violin , music theory and music history at some of the most “privileged” private schools in South Africa. I was earning bigger money than the average public school teacher. My pension, housing and medical benefits were fantastic, plus I could further my studies while not paying a cent. It was during these years that I completed an Honours degree in Psychology and a Performers Licentiate in Pipe Organ, the ultimate musical power trip.  I was miserable as sin.

My pupils were pampered pooches, accompanied by pampered parents , mostly of the conviction that money could buy musical talent. Parents sat in on music lessons while little Dominique/ Rodrigues/ John the 3rd bashed away on the piano keys or scraped the violin strings, calling the neighborhood cats to the window. 

I could not wait to stop teaching. It was not entirely the fault of little John the 3rd and his violin scraping.  My depression had reached an all time low. I was living a lonely, miserable, highly pressured life that I simply could not stand anymore.

I moved to another part of the country, met and married a VERY Afrikaans farmer, living on a farm 125 km from the nearest city.  I settled in as “the farmer’s wife”. I told my brand new husband that I hated teaching, that I couldn’t do it, and that I would NEVER set foot in a school again. Boy , was I wrong.

Nine years is a long time to spend on a farm in the middle of nowhere, trying to keep busy. Especially if you’re not the cooking, baking, preserving, home making type. 

There is only so much reading, sewing, computer game playing one can do before your brain starts screaming : “Woman, there is more to life! Get a job! Do something! “

In January 2017, I sweated my way through my first job interview in years. The post was advertised as being History and Afrikaans for Gr 8 to 12 with some Tourism thrown in.

Needless to say, I didn’t get the job.

But the job I DID get was as English teacher in the local town. The headmistress gave me a chance, even though all of my experience related to music teaching. 

I was scared to death.

I was excited.

I was shaking through most of my first day. 

It turned out to be the best thing that ever happened to me. 

I have not regretted taking the risk for one second.

Local town school turned out to be meant for me.

“Change happens when the pain of staying the same is greater than the pain of change. “-Tony Robbins

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sex, Snoring and Shakespeare

SAMSON : “Tis true; and therefore women, being the weaker vessels, are ever thrust to the wall; Me they shall feel while I am able to stand , and ’tis known, I am a pretty piece of flesh.”

( GLOSSARY : STAND : To have an erection ; IN SENSE : as sexual sensation )

I kid you not. This is prescribed work . It’s all there in black and white in the Romeo and Juliet study guide.

It is period 6 on the Monday of Week 6, Term 1. February. The hottest February we’ve had in years.

Thirty eight Gr 10’s snigger as I read the second page of Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet. I say the word “erection” without so much as a pause or a redness of the cheeks. I have become tough. I am Mrs O, better known as “Mam”. I have been teaching High School English for 3 years now. Nothing, and I mean NOTHING scares me anymore.

My classroom, a newly erected prefab structure, is boiling hot and completely airless. We have one fan rotating uselessly in the front of the room. My pupils insist on wearing their full school uniform all day, every day. Jerseys and blazers included, even though the temperature sometimes rises to over 40 degrees around lunchtime. It is a matter of pride.

The heat ( and maybe Shakespeare ) makes them fall asleep in class. Most have not slept properly the night before. Too many hours spent scrolling through endless selfies, Instagram posts and YouTube videos. The nightlife of typical teenagers around the world. These are the ones residing in the school hostel , usually with the financial means to purchase Airtime and Data.

In one or two cases, the sleepers are those living somewhere where sleep can be dangerous or constantly interrupted by arguments in a one room shack . They come to school with bleary or red and sometimes yellow eyes, skin ashy, expressions blank. These are the ones you worry about.

The sleeping gets to me. I have been known to spray offenders with perfume to try and wake them up. Many a boy has left my classroom smelling of Estee Lauder’s Pleasures or Issey Miyaki’s Rose on Rose. ( Maybe it will remind them of what was said in English period? You never know.)

But there are days when a sixth sense tells me to just let them be. To let those tired ( scared? ) minds have some peace.

To me, this is the tightrope I walk daily in my classroom. What to allow and what not to. Which child I must treat with brisk efficiency and to which one I must offer softness. Which of these faces hide a lifetime of hurts? Which one is just trying their luck? Which one is lying and which one is begging to be heard?

Herein lies the adventure, the creativity and the love.

Tomorrow we try again.

 ‘I am not a teacher, but an awakener.’ –Robert Frost

Amen,Robert Frost.